Korean Weddings

It's been a slow summer vacation for me here, since my summer vacation days are too short to do much with and I had things to accomplish at home, such as getting ready to move (hopefully) and working on my hanbok. So I figured I'd just make a post about some things that happened during the school year that I never wrote about: going to weddings.

I've been to two weddings here so far. The first was Dong-Yun's cousin's wedding, and the second was the wedding of a teacher at my school. I only took pictures at the first, but they will suffice to illustrate the general ideas in this post. Of course, two weddings out of a whole country don't build a complete picture, but it looks like these were pretty standard weddings, so I'm guessing a lot of the stuff is typical.

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Wedding Halls
The first interesting thing is that most weddings take place in a wedding hall, special buildings created for the purpose which house several different ceremony rooms. This is because Koreans choose their wedding day based on what days are considered good or lucky that year. Since there are only so many ideal days, a lot of people get married on the same day in the same place. The layout in the wedding room is roughly the same as an American wedding, with a raised altar at one end, a walkway down the middle, and seats on either side of the walkway. Parents of the bride and groom have special seats at the front.

Wedding Dress
This is a big difference from American weddings. Korean woman rent their wedding dresses. This is much cheaper than buying one, and there is, naturally, less importance on finding the exact right dress. Part of this comes from the fact that you can rent multiple dresses. For instance, Dong-Yun's cousin wore two or three different dresses in her wedding photos (you always get professional photos done before the wedding), and yet another dress at her actual wedding. Whenever I told Korean people that American woman buy their dresses, they were shocked and worried about the cost spent on a dress which, typically, will only be worn once. This is a sufficiently princessy dress. I approve.

Bride Photos
Remember the photo at the top of this post? It's Dong-Yun and me posing with the bride. Contrary to the Western idea that the bride should remain hidden until the wedding, Dong-Yun's cousin sat in a special photography room for a long time before the wedding getting her picture take with various relatives, friends, and, in my case, a foreigner. That is quite literally how the introduced me: "This foreigner wants a picture with you." The above picture also shows the bride, just sitting around like a statue for at least an hour.

Wedding Ceremony
Of course, I didn't understand any of what was going on, but the ceremony superficially looks like a Western one. It begins with a march down the aisle to the altar. I was late to my fellow teacher's wedding, but boy did Dong-Yun's cousin have a march. There is no bridal party, and the bride just walked down the aisle with her father. But she did it with the assistance of fog machines and glittery lighting. The pictures didn't turn out well because of the dimness and my camera focusing on the flowers, but you get the idea.

I do like dramatic weddings, but I'm not sure about this. The aisle is a raised walkway. This wedding had fancy tables on either side for the guests to sit. The teacher's wedding just had chairs arranged in rows. About a third of the room was standing-room only for guests like me and the other teachers, who aren't actually friends and family.

Next follows the ceremony itself. Another cousin explained to me that the man presiding over the ceremony was telling the husband to care for his new wife and the wife to be obedient to her new husband. It was definitely not a mass, but I couldn't tell if either wedding had any religious presence or not.

After that, the couple lit the candles on the altar and then exchanged vows. In this case, they had written vows. I don't know how common that is or isn't.

Attendants

In the absence of a bridal party, the bride just had some hired attendants to worry about things like whether her train was straight or her make-up was perfect. These people actually irked me, because they kept bustling around the couple fixing things during the ceremony. Every time the bride changed positions, an attendant or two ran up to adjust her train and veil. And not for a second, either. It was a long, drawn-out procedure to get every wrinkle and fold in place. Not only is it distracting and messes-up photo-ops, but it just looked tacky, especially since the women were dressed in practical, secretary-style outfits.

I'd rather have a messy train than these guys.

Second Aisle-Walk
I'm including this because it made an impression on me about the showiness of the whole affair. At the teacher's wedding, someone turned to me at the end and whispered excitedly, "Look, look, they're going to walk back down the aisle!" And the did, accompanied by music, confetti, and lots of camera flashes. So why didn't I like it? It was all for show. Upon reaching the end of the aisle, which ends a good ways before the room's actual door, the music stopped, the cheering ended and the couple just turned around and unceremoniously walked back up the aisle to have their pictures taken by the altar. For me, this ruined the magic of the moment. I know a lot of wedding parties go back into the church to get photos, but at least you should pretend to leave, or let the audience leave, or something. Well, it was just my feeling.

Parents of the Bride and Groom
The parents of the bride and groom don't just get special seats. They wear special hanboks, with designated colors depending on whom you're the mother of, and are ceremoniously greeted by the couple at the end of the ceremony. The couple bows deeply to each set of parents and the bride and groom are accepted as a new daughter and son respectively. I really liked this aspect.

Wedding Gift
The wedding gifts are always money. You put the money in a special envelope, write your name on it, and turn it in to the attendants at the gift counter. In turn you get a lunch ticket. My dad told me you are supposed to put in the amount of money you think the lunch will cost. I just put in the amount I was told to. :)

Wedding Lunch
Weddings are followed by a lunch, not a dinner. This is a buffet-style lunch held in a big buffet-hall. Like I said before, lots of couples get married in the same place at the same time, so the hall is filled with the family and friends of various wedding parties. The is very business-like. Turn in your ticket, get in line, eat your food, and leave. Once you leave, you can't get back in, so you have to make sure to eat your fill. There was no wedding cake or special food that I noticed. The buffet selection was roughly the same as every Korean buffet I've been to, although it was pretty big. At Dong-Yun's cousin's wedding, the bridal couple did come visit our table, but that was probably because I was sitting with other relatives. At the teacher's wedding, I never saw them. For this portion, the couple wear regular hanboks and visit around at the tables. I don't know if they eat the buffet or not.

Wedding Hanbok
One thing the couple can do it get their picture taken in traditional wedding hanboks. Dong-Yun's cousin kindly allowed me to take photos of this. The couple played around with several different poses at the photographer's behest. After this, they just take those ceremonial hanboks off and wear regular hanboks.

The last thing I have to say is that there is no "reception" or party after the wedding. In general, everybody just goes home. Dong-Yun explained to me that the bridal couple wants to get going on their honeymoon, so they don't stick around long after the wedding. At her cousin's wedding, the family did get together afterwards, although the bride and groom were already gone, to eat a lot more food. Actually, that day was made up of almost continuous eating. But it was a really fun time.